How to know when a scene sucks

Sorry guys, meant to post this blog last month and totally forgot that I had written it! Here it is, sorry for the delay.

Last month I wrote a scene where Cindy is in the hospital and is fading in and out of consciousness. This is directly after the robbery scene I had shared in my previous blog post. Before I jump into the details, let me explain a bit about how I structure my writing.

Each chapter is composed of four scenes. Why four? Well, I like even numbers and four makes it easier to do math on word count. If I want each scene to contain 1,000 words, then I know right off the bat that each chapter is 4,000 words. If you have 30 chapters, then that equals 120,000 words. Technically you should be able to tell a complete story in less than 1,000 words. So if you tell a 1,000 word story in each scene with interesting conflict, well then, you my friend have a book.

For the chapter with Cindy in the hospital. I wrote three scenes that I felt had strong hooks and interesting conflict, but three does not equal four. Houston we have a problem.

 

Every writer will write a scene that doesn’t work. It’s the natural order of life.

 

However, the question that remains is how do you know -WHEN- a scene doesn’t work? The rule of thumb is to write your rough draft to completion and fix it after. However, I’m a big believer that if you have not finished writing the scene, it’s perfectly okay to stop and start over. But when do you know to start over when every author tells you to finish the rough draft? Well if you ask yourself this one question, you’ll know.

 

Does the scene have a point?

 

Every moment in your story needs to contribute something. Whether it’s fleshing out characters, adding to the plot, revealing a hidden fact, adding backstory, foreshadowing, there has to be some meaning behind it. Think about moment’s you’ve seen in tv, movies, and videogames. We don’t waste time watching a character go to the bathroom, make a purchase, or sleep unless there is a purpose behind it.

When I wrote scene 4 in the hospital, Cindy had just woken up from her semi-coma and her husband Jonas practically jumps into bed to kiss and hug her. Then the rest of Cindy’s family walks in and everyone’s happy to see her and are asking how she’s doing and tell her that she’s been unconscious for two weeks. Overall the scene is just a happy reunion for the whole family.

And it’s boring.

Everytime I tried to finish the scene I found myself wanting to throw my monitor out the window (pets the monitor, no I don’t really mean that. It’s just a figure of speech.) I read it and was like, “Where’s the conflict? Where’s the meat that makes me want to keep going?” Scene 4 not only lacked a conflict, it lacked a hook.

Let’s go over some examples of conflict and hooks in other books:

In Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin. (I know, he keeps popping up. I’m in the middle of reading book 3 and I’ll be damned, he knows his sh**!)

SCENE: Theon Greyjoy returns home after being several years away and becomes enamored with a woman he meets on the island. She’s smart, sassy, and Theon instantly wants to get in her pants, but she’s not interested. Conflict!

HOOK: Turns out the woman was his sister. Eww.
In WOOL by Hugh Howey:

SCENE: The premise of WOOL is that people have been relegated to live in silos because Earth’s air has become toxic. The sheriff of the silo decides he wants “out” and the people of the silo sadly strap him into an environmental suit and release him. He ventures out into the planet and sees nothing but clear blue skies, gorgeous green fields, and sunlit clouds.

HOOK: He takes off his helmet, sees a brown desolate wasteland and dies.

 

Now that we understand what to aim for, let’s revisit the chapter I’ve written and figure out why it’s not working. We establish in the previous three scenes several things. In the 1st scene I start a parallel thread that shows you what Cindy was like during her tenure as a police officer. In the next scene, she wakes up but cannot move any part of her body. She overhears Jonas talking and can’t do anything to communicate with him. In the third scene she wakes up again and overhears Jonas talking about her and the financial difficulties he’s having.

Once we get to Scene 4 where Cindy wakes up, all momentum is lost. I tried to introduce her father and mother to the scene but the characters couldn’t really contribute anything. Could I have introduced a conflict with her family? Yes but I didn’t want to. It would have taken the story in a different direction that I didn’t want to go in. I could have talked about Jonas’s finances but it didn’t make sense for the character motivations.

When all else fails, erase and start again.

 

Always remember that a scene is an individual micro story. A chapter is all these micro stories linked together. If a scene can be removed without affecting your plot, get rid of it. Same if you can’t find the conflict or the point as well.

Now if this is your first book, the rules are slightly different. If you follow my previous advice then it is entirely possible that you could get caught in a writer’s loop and think that all of your scenes are garbage and then you’ll never finish. If you feel you’re the type that can’t stand to look at your own work, then I suggest you finish the rough draft no matter what. However, if you think you can look at your work with a critical eye and fix it as you go along without missing a deadline, then by all means. Just skip the scene and move onto the next. I already have two books under my belt so I have a sense of what process works for me and what doesn’t. It will be different for all individuals, you just need to figure out what’s right for you and FINISH.

Sorry, not sharing any roughs for this one. You’ll just have to take my word for it.

Wu Assassins Season 1 on Netflix – How NOT to write a story.

https://www.thesilverninja.com/2019/09/26/wu-assassins-season-1-on-netflix-how-not-to-write-a-story/

Wilmar Luna

Wilmar Luna

Couldn't be a superhero in real life so he decided to write his own. When he's not creating empowered female characters he can be found watching films, reading books, and playing lots of video games. Buy his books here: https://www.thesilverninja.com/purchase/