Snow Storm Rough Draft (learning to write)

Hi all,

For this week’s blog, I’ve decided to share some additional rough drafts. In this draft, Jonas has discovered that his wife has gone missing from the hospital. Armed with a really fast car and a warm winter coat, he braves the snow storm to find her. As a friendly reminder, do not share your rough drafts with friends or loved ones unless you want your feelings hurt. Why am I sharing mine? Because I like you all! That and  I’ve already had my share of one star reviews.

All kidding aside, these posts are for educational purposes. I’m hoping that by reading my progress you too can gain a better understanding of your own writing.

So grab yourself a cup of coffee, sit back, and relax. It’ll be over before you know it.

**WORK IN PROGRESS** **WORK IN PROGRESS** **WORK IN PROGRESS**

Snowflakes were floating outside the window when Jonas received the call. “Mr. Ames, I’m not sure how to say this. Your wife seems to have . . . escaped.” He didn’t remember what he did after that. He was so blinded by rage that all he could remember was screaming at the top of his lungs and throwing his phone against the wall.

By the time the throbbing in the back of his neck dissipated he was speeding through the Queens midtown tunnel with the accelerator flat against the floor. The tunnel echoed with the throaty roar of Jonas’s Saleen S7 and the pissed off honk of horns. When he came out of the tunnel, the sky was full of fat snowflakes. A powder of white accumulated on the silver hood of his car and all he could think of was that his wife was somewhere out there. Freezing, alone, and lost.

He still couldn’t believe how the hospital could have let his wife walk out in her condition. How did she even walk out? The last time he saw her Cindy couldn’t speak or even open her eyes. None of it made any sense. Idiots, all of them.

Jonas eased off the accelerator as he rounded the corner to the hospital and hunched up to the steering wheel. His eyes jumped from sidewalk to sidewalk, straining to see past the wet streaks left by the windshield wipers. Oddly, the streets were sparse and the only activity was of a doctor speaking to a police officer. Dr. Kyung he remembered. He was the doctor that treated Cindy and also called him about her sudden disappearance. Jonas shook his head and cruised past the flashing lights. There was nothing but empty street in front of him.

The snow pounded on his windshield with giant splats and still there was no sign of her. She could have vanished down any street or disappeared into a subway. He was grateful that the storm thinned the traffic but the snow was growing into thick clumps. If it got any worse, he’d be forced to go home. No matter how hard he tried to be careful, the Saleen always wanted to shoot off from a full stop. At one intersection in particular, he lightly tapped the gas pedal and the car fishtailed out of control. It careened towards the sidewalk and forced him to engage the anti-lock brakes. The car vibrated to a stop and was just inches away from hitting a street light. That was scary.

The sky was pitch black but the snow and street lights made it look like an orange grey. He’d creep forward at less than ten miles an hour and see shadows cross the street. At the push of a lever, the high beams would switch on. Light reflected off the snow and blinded him with wall of white. When he switched off the high beams a shadow appeared from nowhere. The headlights pushed away the darkness and revealed the shadow to be his wife in a thick winter coat. He slammed on the brakes and jerked the wheel to the left. The car spun out of control and crashed into something soft and hard.

His heart was a lump in his throat.

**WORK IN PROGRESS** **WORK IN PROGRESS** **WORK IN PROGRESS**

Wilmar Luna

Wilmar Luna

Couldn't be a superhero in real life so he decided to write his own. When he's not creating empowered female characters he can be found watching films, reading books, and playing lots of video games. Buy his books here: https://www.thesilverninja.com/purchase/