I think I’m obsessed

I'm obsessed with writing

Hi everyone.

This week and possibly the next few weeks might be lacking in updates. No, it’s not because I have nothing to share but rather because I’ve fallen into a rabbit hole and the dirt is crumbling underneath my fingers. I am once again enamored with the world of The Silver Ninja..

Almost twelve years ago, The Silver Ninja was nothing but a hobby. A terribly written story of 20,000 words that I whipped out in a few weeks during high school. In that same year the first Spider-man movie with Tobey Mcguire came out and I was horrified to find a similar plot to what I had already written before! In fact, the exact date of the very first draft was 6/8/2002. Okay, so maybe it was a month after Spider-Man, but I assure you that draft was finished way before then.

The draft was probably one of the worst things I’ve ever written. If terrible was at the bottom of the scale, this would go off the charts. In fact, I’m willing to bet that they would invent a negative 5 star rating system by how badly the work was written. Maybe that’s a little too harsh considering that I wrote it when I was a hormonal, uneducated teenager, but it doesn’t make the embarrassment any less severe. But I digress . . . The point I’m trying to make here is that I had never intended my book to be more than a vanity project. I had written dozens of stories in middle school and high school and this one was just another fly-by-night scribble.

And then I published the book.

And then I published the second one.

And now my eyes are red, my back hurts, my brain is frazzled and I’m staring into the eerie white glow of the computer screen. Cursor blinking next to black. Before me is the re-write of The Silver Ninja, which will soon be Edition 2. Quite frankly, I still can’t believe I’m going through with this. I had already laid the foundation for book 3, I started it, did my research, wrote a rough draft of a chapter. Yet, I can’t finish it. Not until the ideas I have for Edition 2 come to an end.

It never stops. Everyday, Cindy nags me when I sleep on the train. “You gonna write me yet?” When I’m at work. “What if my sister was the one who . . .” When I’m walking around. “This would be a great setting for the re-write.” When I’m relaxing. “You know you could be writing me right now.” When I’m with Chrysti. “She’s funny, you should write down what she says.” When I’m asleep. “And then I land on top of a tank and rip its gun off!”

And then I sleep.

And then it starts again, first thing in the morning. My mind a basin of fresh ideas while the pressure valve to the fountain gets turned on during the day. I start talking to myself, visualizing puzzle pieces floating in front of me wondering how I can arrange it differently. How can I make the picture more beautiful? How can I make it memorable? How can I touch someone’s feelings?

It’s pure madness! It’s the equivalent of the mark of the beast, but for writers. You dream of the world, you think on how to write it better, and then you do it one word at a time.

I had gotten over The Silver Ninja. I had written my second book and was happy that I had gotten that far. There was no need to write more, no need to continue the story, I had always wanted to write just two books and I accomplished that. I dove into other genres to try my hand at fantasy, crime, horror, and used these short stories to develop my writing and grow as an author. I wrote the blog posts, shared advice, shared what I knew about writing a book, but something kept itching in the back of my mind.

I could make the 1st book better.

My co-workers ask me, “Wilmar. What did you do this weekend? Do you watch any TV shows?” And my answer is, “Nothing really. I spent some time with my girlfriend and then I wrote.” I can only imagine how boring they must think I am, when ironically I am having a ridiculous amount of fun.

I'd rather be writing

It’s sick! The more I write the more I want to continue to write, to explore, to fix, to improve, to captivate, to wow, to entertain. I have dreams of turning The Silver Ninja into a franchise with t-shirts, posters, movies, video games. I’ve fantasized on how I would convince the actresses to be in my movie and to play the role. I’ve picked out the soundtrack, I’ve designed the game, and I know the very last line of the very last book and how it’s all going to end.

But if I want people to read the epic conclusion of book 5, I need to be happy with my first. I can make it better. The joke Chrysti makes whenever I talk about re-writing is one simple quote that I said to her after I re-wrote the 1st book, the first time. “I fixed that!” The Silver Ninja must have had seven, the seventh being the published one. Edition 2 will be revision eight and I pray that it will be the last.

As much as I love re-visiting this world and having an opportunity to correct my mistakes. I still have three more books to go that I want to see the end of. And I know that when I do finally get to the end, I’m going to enter a deep depression.

Oh yes, that’s right. Depression.

A writer never wants the world to end or for the characters to end. We fall in love with the work and want to keep the dreams alive for as long as we can. Who thought that “The Shining” deserved a sequel following the troubles of a grown up Danny? I didn’t, but King wrote it. It’s called Dr. Sleep and clearly he wasn’t quite done with that world.

When stories end openly with more questions than answers. I always thought that it was because the writer didn’t know how to write the ending. I like my loose ends tied and my plot resolved, none of this open ending bull crap. Now that I’ve submerged myself back into the writing world, I know why these endings exist. It gives the writer an excuse to revisit the world if the desire calls on them. An opportunity to have dinner with long lost friends.

The writer never stops writing.

For The Lost Pariah fans, I know you might be a little worried that the stories might come to a stop. Don’t worry. I love Alina and her friends and have a grand tale to tell. I will divide my time between projects to make room for both, but the updates are going to be spread out a little bit. All stories will be completed, it’s just a matter of me having the time to work on them.

So if it gets a little quiet on my Facebook, twitter, blog, don’t fret.

I’m just writing.

 

-Wilmar

(There were a lot of “and then’s” in this blog post weren’t there? Ah well!)

Wilmar Luna

Wilmar Luna

Couldn't be a superhero in real life so he decided to write his own. When he's not creating empowered female characters he can be found watching films, reading books, and playing lots of video games. Buy his books here: https://www.thesilverninja.com/purchase/