It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to talk about today. One of the key features that I like to provide on my blog is sharing what I’ve learned through my writing journey and how I’ve applied that into my newest words (see what I did there?). Essentially, it’s a writing advice blog that gives you tips on how to get your work done and eventually get published.

Sometimes though, I want to talk about things that go beyond the scope of writing. For instance, in one blog I talked about respect and in another blog I talked about some random life thing. The truth is. A part of me would like to talk about relationships and life but I don’t want to scare off my readers who come here to learn about writing.

Ideally, I would like to expand this blog into a more educational resource on a topic that’s hard to discuss. Life. The focus will always be on writing and my books, but once in a while I’d like to talk about other things.

Like relationships.

I spent a good chunk of my life flying solo. I’ve had many crushes on many ladies throughout my life. The Pink Ranger, Kimberly was one of them, and in real life there was the middle school girl next door, and a high school teen that was totally wrong for me.

I didn’t date often because I was ultra picky and didn’t have a clue where to start. I’ve had the fortune of drawing the eye of a few attractive girls and the heartbreaking misfortune of drawing the attention of many unattractive girls. The worst part was I always felt like a jerk when I had to tell them, “Sorry, not interested.” Yeah, never thought it would happen to me but it did.

More shocking is the fact that the girls I did find attractive, I never asked out.

One girl in high school had model good looks, long legs, a bright and bubbly personality, and lovely blue eyes. I could tell she had a thing for me but a part of my brain kept on saying, “There’s no way a girl that hot is into you.” But I knew she was. And I never made a move.

Why?

Well, when I became infatuated with the “wrong girl” I developed a tunnel vision that made me ignore the other girls who were interested in me. That was my first problem. The second problem was that no matter how attractive I thought this other girl was, I for some reason never felt the spark to pursue her. It was like trying to turn on the lights of a toy car with a dead battery.

When you develop a crush on someone, your imagination creates a fantasy person that most likely doesn’t reflect who the real person is. The “wrong girl” of my dreams ended up being much greater in my mind than she was in real life but I was too damn stubborn to accept it.

It wasn’t until my senior prom that I started to see the reality. My prom date pushed me towards the “wrong girl” of my dreams and got me to have the last dance with her. She begrudgingly accepted and the whole time we danced I was nervous and sweaty. She on the other hand was cold, distant, and afraid. Ouch…

In a surprising plot twist. The beautiful blonde who I thought had an interest in me cut into my dance with the “wrong girl” of my dreams! We only danced for like five seconds because the song was over but it was actually very nice. Unfortunately, my brain was thinking “The only reason she cut in was to save her friend from having to dance with me.” I don’t know what her intention was but she definitely earned my respect that night.

Such a shame I was never attracted to this girl, right?

Wrong.

Everything happens for a reason.

The older I get, the more I adopt this philosophy and resign myself to accepting that no matter what I do. Things will happen because they are meant to happen, even the sad stuff.

Had I asked this blonde girl out on a date, she probably would have said yes. But then what? What was a young, broke, Hispanic boy with no job and no direction going to do with a girl that would have wanted to go to dinner, watch a movie, and hang out?

In high school we believe that those days are our universe. Homework, class, hanging out with friends, and maybe falling in love. We think these days will last forever but the truth is that high school, amongst other things in life, are just a spark in a timeline that spans one hundred years. It is a blip of life that you will cherish or be glad that you are done with. It is a transitional moment where your friends and you yourself are learning who you will become.

I did not know that I would become a published author, a video editor, a motion graphics artist, and an employee for one of the biggest gaming companies in the world. By not knowing who you are, you cannot be in a relationship. The ones from high school rarely last because sometimes the couple will discover that they want different things in life.

In high school the common goal was to graduate, but in college one person might want to travel the world while the other wants to get a masters.

So you split apart and then you date. Dating is an essential part of learning who you are and what you want. Once the “wrong girl” of my dreams told me to f*** off. My leash had been cut and I spent several months in liberating depression. Knowing what I wanted out of life I finally started to flirt with girls and ask them out on dates.

I’ve dated hot messes, incompatible matches, and have dabbled in a friendship that went too far and broke my heart. Through these experiences I learned about what I wanted in a woman and also learned that a broken heart is not the end of the world. Everything happens for a reason.

You get over it, you move on, and when the time is right. You meet the perfect match for you. I know I’ve met mine because I’ve already started saving up money so that I could buy a ring for the “right girl” of my dreams. I mean, if she can tolerate my writing and my constant need to talk about the ideas in my head, how could she not be the one?

If you want to survive a broken heart that dreamt about the wrong one. Remind yourself that it wasn’t meant to be, grieve, and move on. Learn from it, grow from it, and all will eventually work itself out.

Well, I’m way over word count right now. My original goal was to go into details of why it’s hard to find the right one, knowing when you’re in an abusive relationship, and trying to troubleshoot why you can’t get a date. But those will have to be for another time and only if you readers have an interest in that type of content.

Either way I had fun writing this and I hope you guys would like to see more of this type of content. If not, I am perfectly happy with just sharing writing advice.

Have a great week and enjoy your valentines day!

Want to leave feedback on this blog post? Leave a comment on facebook, tweet me on twitter @WilmarLuna, or send me a good ol’ fashioned e-mail. Someday I’ll set up direct links for this stuff but not today, I’m sleepy.