This is going to be a little embarrassing, but that’s what happens when an older you reflects on the “a long time ago” version of you.
Back in 2015 I started the first post in “How to write a marketing blurb.” It was an in-depth post covering the mechanics and brainstorming session of a marketing blurb. I don’t want to link to it because it’s so embarrassing, but it’s a learning opportunity for all writers. So here we go:
https://www.thesilverninja.com/2015/08/09/how-to-write-a-marketing-blurb/
You may immediately notice that my writing voice has drastically changed from 2015 to now. The 2015 version of Wilmar is long gone. I say this because, 2015-2017 wasn’t a great period of my life. I was working at a place that I thought would be my “dream job” and was struggling with the fact that it wasn’t. Grueling hours and a toxic work environment had changed me into someone I didn’t want to be. I had to re-evaluate my life choices.
Although the blog post has an immature tone, there were still some valuable tips learned from the experience.
Fast Forward to 2022 and I wrote a second part to the marketing blurb.
https://www.thesilverninja.com/2022/02/28/how-to-write-a-marketing-blurb-part-2/
This post is less embarrassing because I had written it two years ago and the information is solid. My first post was about mechanics, my second post was about structure, today’s third topic covers the big brain conceptualization.
If you’re a writer sitting at your desk thinking to yourself, “How do I describe my book without spoiling everything, keep it interesting, and under 200 words?” or a reader interested in the behind-the-scenes process. This is the blog for you.
If you can’t explain your story, simply. You simply don’t understand it.
This is a play on the Einstein quote (though it’s not confirmed if he actually said it.)
It took me 9 years and a re-read of A Bitter Winter to finally understand what my book was about. A complete understanding is the only way to explain it simply. I will include a before and after to demonstrate how an understanding of your book (and a little bit of writing experience) can dramatically improve your blurb.
But before we get into that, let’s go over the #1 common mistake made in a blurb.
The marketing blurb is not about what happens.
In the blurb, most authors will talk about the key plot points. Take a look at the fictionalized examples below.
Example: There’s a war with Chandahar and the chosen one finds a sword that gives them the power to turn the tides of battle. The chosen one and their group of friends explore an ancient ruin, steal its treasure, and fight the battle for the liberation of their country.
What’s wrong with this blurb? On the surface level it is competent. It tells you there’s a war, a chosen one, and a weapon that can turn the battle. The problem with this blurb is that it tells you what happens without telling you what it’s about.
What makes the chosen one story any different than the thousands of chosen one stories that came before it? Why should we care?
The marketing blurb is like a good movie trailer. It tells you what it’s about, not what happens.
The bad trailers always tell you what happens and spoils the movie. Or they mislead you into thinking the movie will be about something else and make it more exciting than it actually is.
I have to admit, trailer editors have been earning their money lately. The trailers have been way better than the movies.
So, what’s the difference between what happens and what the story is about?
What the story is about generally includes a theme and how it negatively affects the protagonist’s life.
Let’s use the classic Terminator 2 as an example.
What happens in Terminator 2: A robot from the future goes back to the past to protect the future leader of the resistance. A second robot also travels to the past in order to kill John Connor. The Terminator and Sarah Connor team up to destroy the robot and protect John Connor.
What is Terminator 2 about: John Connor, a boy destined to be the leader of the resistance, sees a father figure in the machine that once tried to kill his mother. John Connor tries to teach the machine how to become more human while Sarah Connor keeps her finger on the trigger, waiting for the machine’s inevitable betrayal.
Do you notice a difference? One describes the boilerplate events while the other tries to capture the heart of the story. Ideally you would knit both concepts together into one attention grabbing blurb.
Now we go full circle and apply our accumulated knowledge to update the marketing blurb for A Bitter Winter
This blurb has gone through so many revisions, I’ve lost count. But that’s okay, it means we’re learning.
This is the 2019 marketing blurb for The Silver Ninja: A Bitter Winter.
“Whew – this was the dark-and-gritty superhero story I was waiting for!” – Miranda Reads.
As the Manhattan snow fell on her shoulders, Cindy Ames stared in disbelief at her bloodstained hands. Her fingers ached from violence. All she wanted was revenge for what happened to her sister.
She stole a prototype suit and absorbed its incredible power. With it, she tore through criminals and terrorists in search for the killer who ruined her life.
But something went horribly wrong.
The red liquid pooling in her hands didn’t belong to her or the criminals. The suit has taken control of her mind and is using her body to fulfill its own purposes. The puppet has become the master, and the hero has become the monster. Can she regain control before she takes another innocent life?
A Bitter Winter is book 1 of The Silver Ninja series.
This is the ONLY action packed superhero fantasy that will show you the consequences of being a hero. And only Wilmar Luna could tell it.
“It’s refreshing to read about a character (especially a female superhero), who isn’t perfect and has actual problems she must overcome.” – Kitiera Morey, Author of Meant to Bleed.
“Wilmar Luna has taken the usual superhero saga and deconstructed it, shattering any expectations of the ordinary lawful good hero. Cindy isn’t quite an anti-hero, but she is certainly not playing things by the rules.” – Valerie, Cats luv Coffeez blogspot.
Curious if this is the right book for you? Click send a free sample to my Kindle and find out.
This is the marketing blurb for the planned re-release on Google Books (2024) with revised content and updated book cover.
“Whew – this was the dark-and-gritty superhero story I was waiting for!” – Miranda Reads.
They said, “It wasn’t personal, just business” as they burned her partner to death. It wasn’t personal when they shot her in the back and left her for dead. It was business when they kidnapped her sister and put her in a coma.
Cindy Ames refused to have her life diminished to a meager business transaction. She set out on a bitter winter night and chose to respond with violence.
She stole a prototype suit which made her bigger, faster, stronger. With her new superpowers, she tore through criminals in search of the killer who ruined her life.
But something went horribly wrong.
The suit started taking control of her mind and used her anger to kill innocent people. She was becoming a monster and didn’t know how to stop it.
Can Cindy regain control of her body before she kills again?
A Bitter Winter is book 1 of The Silver Ninja series.
“It’s refreshing to read about a character (especially a female superhero), who isn’t perfect and has actual problems she must overcome.” – Kitiera Morey, Author of Meant to Bleed.
“Wilmar Luna has taken the usual superhero saga and deconstructed it, shattering any expectations of the ordinary lawful good hero. Cindy isn’t quite an anti-hero, but she is certainly not playing things by the rules.” – Valerie, Cats luv Coffeez blogspot.
Closing thoughts
Despite having tons of spoilers, the updated blurb still has a hook. What was missing in the original blurb was clarity and tighter, rhythmic prose. In the original version we know Cindy wants revenge, but why? There’s not enough information to explain why she would have blood on her hands. We needed to raise the stakes and have the reader understand her motives.
The prose from the original blurb didn’t have smooth rhythm. Reading it aloud created a staccato disjointed feel. There was a lot of fat and sentences that read like google keywords. For example, is it important to specify “Manhattan snow?”
Keywords have a place in a blurb, but it has to be incorporated seamlessly.
“She stole a prototype suit and absorbed its incredible power.” What does incredible power mean in this context? In a world of superheroes, power could mean eye beams, teleportation, super strength, flight, super speed, etc. We don’t have to state exactly what the suit does, we only need to provide a taste. Also, the word absorb is a passive action. An inanimate sponge absorbs, a character consumes.
“The red blood pooling in her hands didn’t belong to her or the criminals” was unclear. Whose blood, was it?
Was the 2019 blurb bad? Absolutely not. All it needed, like all things written, was a little bit of editing.
This also means that a new version of A Bitter Winter is coming soon. This version is like the blurb, edited with a little bit more polish. I fixed some continuity issues, plot holes, and typos that I had apparently missed. I’m going to see if I can get away with just updating the content without needing to release a new edition.
Stay tuned!
